Never Say Never...

A fifteen-year younger version of myself had professed that she would never marry a pastor. I had witnessed how miserable they were, they seem to be serving a God that was incapable to meet their own needs. In my mind there was a clear contradiction with I was reading from the same bible they taught each Sunday. So I had sworn never to get hitched to one. Guess what? Today I'm married to one, how ironic is that?

I've witnessed many times my sisters in the Lord pray for a husband. Usually during that period of time different kinds of potentials would emerge, and I'm going to focus only on two of them:
- There's the stubborn non-believer: He has it all, educated, good career, takes care of himself and his family, can speak to a lady's heart but he is just not the bible thumper, overly religious kind. At this stage, if the sister is strong and deeply rooted in her faith and convictions, then she'll turn him down, non-negotiable. If she is not that strong, then she will hang on with the non-believer in the hopes that he may "change" his mind or just to fill-up the lonely times. After all no one is perfect, why should he be disqualified because he doesn't go to Church? Besides, those people in church, they're bunch of hypocrites, she will reason. Best case scenario, the non-believer breaks up the relationship and moves on or worst case scenario, the sister agrees to marry him still hoping he'll change his mind. One, two or three or more years will pass, nothing will change, one two or three kids aligned, nothing. It's misery, she tries not to focus on the God thing but it always pops up somehow. We know the drill. At this point it can go either way.
- Then there's the sweet believer. I call him sweet because he has everything the sister needs and a few of what she wants. He's a believer alright, serious with God alright, but there's just this thing she doesn't like about him: the way he talks, the way he dresses, sometimes a bit of resentment of his unshakable desire to serve The Lord, his physique or just something that she can't see herself live with for the rest of her life. And this thing that should belong in the category of 'non-deal breaker' becomes a major roadblock that, most times, puts an end to what could have been the most wonderful gift of her life.
One thing I've already learned in this still short life of mine is that God's best gifts often come in a less than desirable package, and only those whose desire above everything else is to please Him can identify them even in their wrap. Only one rooted in prayer and fellowship with Jesus can unwrap the delicatessen of heavens.

I've Been On Both Sides Of The Fence.

   

This article has been laying in my heart for quite some time now. It is dedicated to every once found but now lost or "almost lost" soul out there. It's for those who once upon a time had no shame to identified as burning fiery Christians but who'd today rather distant themselves from the whole church shenanigans. I don't know what got you to where you are now but as long as you say today, as long as you're not dead, God is not done with you. I've been there, I've done that, I've been on both sides of the fence. As early as fourteen years of age, I decided to consecrate my life to God (as for my true born again date, only The Lord has the perfect of record of it).  I hung out with a group of zealous fellow, bible-preaching/studying/praying classmates. The impact in our school was epic. From that group, just a handful has remained faithful and few have gone through and lost themselves in life altering experience to again find themselves in the Lord. I was (still am) a happy gal, ready to help when and how I could. Until one day, a christian sister and friend took advantage of it, spit on our over a decade friendship and literally stab me on my back. This situation left me hanging on the edges of hell for years, with unforgiveness forged in my heart. I had two options:
  1. I could continue in my bitterness by cursing every christian that would dare smile at me or get closer to me because of that offensive offense (if that's a phrase!) from the christian sister, libeling every act of kindness as hypocrisy and more. I could continue towards my own rebellion towards God : at one point I had stopped going to church, reading the word and praying with the excuse that I had no business hanging with back-stabbers.
  2. Or I could hang in there ask, My Father in heaven to help my unforgiving heart. I could try to figure out a way not to let this situation change me at the core and make me forsake my pursuit of righteousness.

I bet you have gone through something similar if not worse. A church member has trashed talked about you, or your pastor has greeted everybody around you but you, or you lent some money to a brother/sister and they failed to pay you back. You experienced such a bad treatment at the hands of a brother/sister that it made it you doubt the veracity of salvation.
Regardless of what has driven you  to your current spiritual state, you're facing two options:
1. Continue in your current state and eventually staying, living and dying away from God or
2. Turn around and grab back that which you have left behind: your fierce and vibrant faith in the Lord.
It's not too late, you haven't gone too far.

One thing I found out during my life crisis was that there is no single commandment or statute of God that we can observe by our own strength, they all require Him to strengthen us. Therefore, our job is just to let our desires be known and our cry heard by Him. Although the new year has already started (I'm not much of a fan of new year resolutions anyway), squeeze into your list this new goal: re-kindle your relationship with your Creator.

A simple prayer from an honest heart will suffice: "Heavenly Father, I'm not sure how I got where I am today. But I feel so lost and desperate. I would like to come back to you. I've done so many dishonoring things and made so many wrong decisions. Help me, please! I know I don't deserve you listening to me but I truly need your help. I pray in Jesus' name, Amen!

It's totally worth it, I guarantee it!

Tresorly Yours