Never Say Never...

A fifteen-year younger version of myself had professed that she would never marry a pastor. I had witnessed how miserable they were, they seem to be serving a God that was incapable to meet their own needs. In my mind there was a clear contradiction with I was reading from the same bible they taught each Sunday. So I had sworn never to get hitched to one. Guess what? Today I'm married to one, how ironic is that?

I've witnessed many times my sisters in the Lord pray for a husband. Usually during that period of time different kinds of potentials would emerge, and I'm going to focus only on two of them:
- There's the stubborn non-believer: He has it all, educated, good career, takes care of himself and his family, can speak to a lady's heart but he is just not the bible thumper, overly religious kind. At this stage, if the sister is strong and deeply rooted in her faith and convictions, then she'll turn him down, non-negotiable. If she is not that strong, then she will hang on with the non-believer in the hopes that he may "change" his mind or just to fill-up the lonely times. After all no one is perfect, why should he be disqualified because he doesn't go to Church? Besides, those people in church, they're bunch of hypocrites, she will reason. Best case scenario, the non-believer breaks up the relationship and moves on or worst case scenario, the sister agrees to marry him still hoping he'll change his mind. One, two or three or more years will pass, nothing will change, one two or three kids aligned, nothing. It's misery, she tries not to focus on the God thing but it always pops up somehow. We know the drill. At this point it can go either way.
- Then there's the sweet believer. I call him sweet because he has everything the sister needs and a few of what she wants. He's a believer alright, serious with God alright, but there's just this thing she doesn't like about him: the way he talks, the way he dresses, sometimes a bit of resentment of his unshakable desire to serve The Lord, his physique or just something that she can't see herself live with for the rest of her life. And this thing that should belong in the category of 'non-deal breaker' becomes a major roadblock that, most times, puts an end to what could have been the most wonderful gift of her life.
One thing I've already learned in this still short life of mine is that God's best gifts often come in a less than desirable package, and only those whose desire above everything else is to please Him can identify them even in their wrap. Only one rooted in prayer and fellowship with Jesus can unwrap the delicatessen of heavens.

I've Been On Both Sides Of The Fence.

   

This article has been laying in my heart for quite some time now. It is dedicated to every once found but now lost or "almost lost" soul out there. It's for those who once upon a time had no shame to identified as burning fiery Christians but who'd today rather distant themselves from the whole church shenanigans. I don't know what got you to where you are now but as long as you say today, as long as you're not dead, God is not done with you. I've been there, I've done that, I've been on both sides of the fence. As early as fourteen years of age, I decided to consecrate my life to God (as for my true born again date, only The Lord has the perfect of record of it).  I hung out with a group of zealous fellow, bible-preaching/studying/praying classmates. The impact in our school was epic. From that group, just a handful has remained faithful and few have gone through and lost themselves in life altering experience to again find themselves in the Lord. I was (still am) a happy gal, ready to help when and how I could. Until one day, a christian sister and friend took advantage of it, spit on our over a decade friendship and literally stab me on my back. This situation left me hanging on the edges of hell for years, with unforgiveness forged in my heart. I had two options:
  1. I could continue in my bitterness by cursing every christian that would dare smile at me or get closer to me because of that offensive offense (if that's a phrase!) from the christian sister, libeling every act of kindness as hypocrisy and more. I could continue towards my own rebellion towards God : at one point I had stopped going to church, reading the word and praying with the excuse that I had no business hanging with back-stabbers.
  2. Or I could hang in there ask, My Father in heaven to help my unforgiving heart. I could try to figure out a way not to let this situation change me at the core and make me forsake my pursuit of righteousness.

I bet you have gone through something similar if not worse. A church member has trashed talked about you, or your pastor has greeted everybody around you but you, or you lent some money to a brother/sister and they failed to pay you back. You experienced such a bad treatment at the hands of a brother/sister that it made it you doubt the veracity of salvation.
Regardless of what has driven you  to your current spiritual state, you're facing two options:
1. Continue in your current state and eventually staying, living and dying away from God or
2. Turn around and grab back that which you have left behind: your fierce and vibrant faith in the Lord.
It's not too late, you haven't gone too far.

One thing I found out during my life crisis was that there is no single commandment or statute of God that we can observe by our own strength, they all require Him to strengthen us. Therefore, our job is just to let our desires be known and our cry heard by Him. Although the new year has already started (I'm not much of a fan of new year resolutions anyway), squeeze into your list this new goal: re-kindle your relationship with your Creator.

A simple prayer from an honest heart will suffice: "Heavenly Father, I'm not sure how I got where I am today. But I feel so lost and desperate. I would like to come back to you. I've done so many dishonoring things and made so many wrong decisions. Help me, please! I know I don't deserve you listening to me but I truly need your help. I pray in Jesus' name, Amen!

It's totally worth it, I guarantee it!

Tresorly Yours

7 Tips to Identify the Backslidden

1. You've stopped any church involvement despite manageable circumstances. If you're in the early stage of the backsliding rope, then you're randomly missing church services/duties. Or if you're still in church, you're bored. You wonder what you're doing there.
2. You criticize the church without being part of a solution.
3. You fellowship no more. As a matter of fact, you no longer hang out with brothers & sisters of the church for you don't want them to ask about your whereabouts.
4. You dislike conversations interjected with 'Amen!' or 'Praise God', in fact you find the latter ridiculous and insincere.
5. You barely pray or stopped it altogether.
6. You don't read the bible anymore. You feel like there's nothing new in it for you. In fact, there are more important things pressing you.
7. If you're at the beginning of the backsliding stage, you feel bad about all the above at their first occurrence but you ignore and suppress the bad feeling.

But what's the alternative to that? Living a life without God or at best, at a good distance from Him? Being the master of your own universe? How is that working out so far?

Why I don't watch 'Scandal' and stopped watching 'Modern Family'

Maybe I should just remove ABC app altogether from my iPad but I'm still holding onto it because I believe in humanity or should I say insanity?

Modern Family used to belong to my list of guilty pleasures. And guilt I sure did feel because I would catch myself laughing many times at the quirks of the gay couple especially Cam's (I can't believe I still remember his name). Did I agree with the whole gay thing? Not at all.
But deep down I knew that my laugh (explained away by the fact that the gay couple was not exchanging spit on tv) meant that I was ok with 'this'. It also meant that I was part of a silent but yet powerful movement that is striving in desensitized our culture from what is amoral, wrong and against nature. Not only in regards to homosexuality but to sex outside the boundaries of marriage, to violence and many more vices that are mining our society. I wish it was this kind of rhetoric that prompted me to stop watching "Modern Family".
My wake up call came on the day after Kirk Cameron's appearance on Piers Morgan wherein he expressed his personal views and beliefs on homosexuality.

The backlash that ensued blew me away. I was very disappointed at, hurt and felt belittled by Jesse Tyler Ferguson's response (JTF) and more so at the advocates of the LGBT movement. JTF (the beardy man on the pic) is the gay co-star in the sitcom mentioned above, and he is truly gay in real life.
Why would I give my approval (by watching a show that wants me to look at homosexuality as the norm) to a community who doesn't respect who I am as a person, what I believe in or my faith that has carried me through til this day? If it's ok for JTF to flunk his sexuality, thus expressing his views on the subject why wouldn't be ok for someone who happens to disagree with him to do the same? Why should I encourage his craft by letting myself be counted among the watching population to boost his ratings? I could feel my inside boiling with rage, it was enough to cut the umbilical cord. That's how and why I stopped watching 'Modern Family' and never looked back.

Then it hit me again. Most shows on ABC have now a nuance of gayism in it. Whether it's a mother raveling about her son being gay, or a lawyer urging someone to come out of the closet to be exonerated (I think this was in the very first episode first season of the popular show 'Scandal', the first and last episode I ever watched!), or perfectly normal female  in a heterosexual relationship but now is nourishing and maintaining a same sex relationship (Grey's Anatomy).
And I figured that someone was working really hard at ABC to push down my throat the gay agenda. And I resented that. They used the same tactics that have succeeded with most of us by carving us into accepting nudity, cussing, violence, one-night stands ...etc as essential ingredients of a good movie/entertainment.

I urge you not to allow that to happen to you. and You here, is for any bible-believing, Holy Spirit filled, Christ follower. We all have some challenges but remember that by his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life [...] And because of his glory and excellence, He has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. [2 Pe 1:3-4]

However, if you want to stick w/ ABC but want to be 'gay' free, here are some shows that I can safely recommend, but remember that nothing guarantees it will stay that way:

- In The Middle: it's a fun family show about a classic american family.
- Castle: The typical murder case show, with a sideline of sexy rendezvous ( as I said earlier if seeing too much fornication on tv has numbed you, then you're 'safe')
- Shark Tank: for business savvy people
- Trophy Wife

There could be more, but I choose not to overload myself with worldly stuffs, especially of this kind. After all, there's a life after this life that is worthier of our pursuit than tv, sitcoms or any kind of shows.

I'm In Love with a Church Girl --- "Praisics" of a Movie

I went to the premiere of "I'm in love with a church girl" and I have to admit that I was more than pleased with the performance of Jeff 'JA Rule' Atkins' as the lead actor. I've always been skeptical of rappers/singers wanna-be actors. I especially loved the scenes where he's talking to God and breaks down before Him, the emotions it generates are palpable and the audience can relate to such moments; the honesty he conveys in admitting that he's not sure to be the godly man that Vanessa's parents are wishing for their daughter.
I wish I could ravel on the co-star's (Adrienne Baillon) performance. First of all I had never heard of her before this movie. So my first reaction was that, hey this movie is giving some aspiring actors a chance to show their craft, how cool is that. Then a couple of days before I actually watched the movie, a teen friend told me that she was a serious actress. So I even more so looked forward to the movie.
Except for a reference to the kids waiting , which extracted a few laughs of me,and her in a hospital bed, Ms. Baillon acting was down right, boring, fake and forced. Before I actually took time to write this piece, I googled her and was somewhat impressed by pedigree.So what happened where was that genius during the shooting of the film? Maybe she would have fared better had she had a singing part? Well, there is still room for improvement and I'm glad that there young aspiring actors who would find cool to play in a faith based movies.
That said, I wouldn't go as far as it give it a one star like the so-called critics at the WaPo. I would bump it up to two or maybe a tow and half out of 4, for the non-cussing and non-nudity (which in most decent films is unnecessary) .
However in regards to all this, I had some concerns or rather some questions such as: Should the church encourage missionary dating? Dating a non-believer in the hopes that he or she will convert. How many believers have dated a non-believer, went to club parties, slept over at the boyfriend's house wearing the boyfriend's night gown and resisted the temptation to have sex before marriage?

Why I Decided to [re]become Debt Free

How/why I got into debt

I was born and raised in Cameroon, a country in Central Africa. Being the first born of a string of six kids, I always felt the responsibility to care for my brothers and sisters by the giving them a chance  at a better life.
Such an assignment required that I worked hard, depriving myself of many 'luxuries'. Long story short, by the time I was ready to make my second sister come from Cameroon I had put aside enough money to pay for an entire year of tuition plus her plane ticket. However when the time to pay for her school came, I decided to put the money on a credit card for I knew I could reimburse later. And that's how I accumulated my
first big debt, closed to $9,000.00 (nine thousand dollars) on my visa card. Meanwhile to sponsor some trips, I used another credit card to rack up miles. In the pursuit of mileage, the card averaged nearly $4000.00 (four thousand dollars) of debt on AMEX. I also needed to purchase a vehicle and I did what the common American does. I financed the vehicle. And three years down the line I still owed over $8,0000.00 (eight thousands dollars) on it. In total, I had accumulated nearly $21,000.00 (twenty one thousands dollars) in debt in three years. This total doesn't include Best Buy and Kohl's department store's credit cards for I never carried a balance on these cards. However, I would like to mention them just to outline a certain pattern that has started to take shape in my financial life.

How I decided to gazelle intense against my debt
Before I get into how I decided to get rid of my debt with the fury of an angry god, I would like to disclose that I have never paid late or skipped a payment nor have I only paid the minimum. My payments have always been more than the minimum and on time. What got me ticked off was a response from God when we (as a family) were praying about the ministry and other things including finances. God spoke to me and said: "The ministry financial health will be the reflection of your household's finances". It resonated with me, for it meant as prosperous as our personal finances will be, so will be the ministry's. Therefore, if we were negligent or bad steward of the money that God has given us, the same will be reflected in the ministry. Given that we didn't believe in a ministry racking up debt to do the work of God, it was imperative to reflect the same ideology in our finances by getting rid (as soon as possible) of our debt.


Cutting Expenses
We, as a family, decided to cut our expenses. No more eating out, if any, once in 2 months (barely), no more movies, no more (fun) travelling.  Then later, we found out it was necessary to budget and give a name to every dollars. The daunting task was to figuring out how much was spent on food, clothing, utilities (this one was easy) and entertainment. Once that was done, we knew how much to allocate for food per month and stick to that amount, meaning we wouldn't go on a spending spree just because we wanted something, although there were still food at home.

When we got our tax return, it did not serve to buy another toy nor did it serve to satisfy our next impulse but we took the bulk of it and 'invest' in our debt reduction goal. 11 months later I'm proud of to announce that we've paid off our debts!!


Challenges & Temptations
The main challenge was to keep consistency and to raise above our impulses. I remember one instance where I went to a department store with a friend who needed to buy some stuffs for her son. While in the store I saw a very cute dress, $15.00 only but it wasn't part of the budget so I close my eyes on it and told myself, there will be many other dresses on sale in the future.
To keep myself motivated, I read many times a day, testimonies of people who had gotten off debt and in the process became a fan of Dave Ramsey. I read and listened to everything I could related to his baby steps and how to be a winner financially. Visualizing the goal I wanted to achieve kept me going.

Apart from the Lord talking to me, during some introspection I also realized that so many times we, as Christians, pass up many opportunities to do good things just because we're limited in our finances. We want to offer a thoughtful gift but it's quite expensive so we refrain from it. We want to go visit a brother/sister who lives 45 min away but we think about the price of gas. A family member asks you for financial help, you're willing but you're stuck because you have borrowed your life away.The list is exhaustive.

The main temptation we faced, more so I than we for I am the financial analyst/strategist of our household, was to refrain from tithing while getting out of debt. The amount we give in tithes could accelerate the payoff by at least four months. But I have been listening the likes of David Oyedepo and Bill Johnson who once said that our tithes is like paying our rent to God, for using His air to breath, for enjoying the good health He's given us. Above all, it's a covenant relationship with our Creator. It's an act of love, gratitude and faith towards Him. I really got challenged by Bishop Oyedepo who said (in the video series link above) that since he had received the revelation on tithing, he has never skipped his tithes even once, and God's records can confirm that. I stuck to my guns and continue to tithe, believing the Lord that all shall be well.

I cut off and closed all the department stores cards and the AMEX. I left open the visa account, then during a casual conversation with a man of God, He said something that had struck the cord with me for I had heard it from the Lord Himself. He said: I really don't like credit cards, if a situation gets tough and requires resources beyond my means, then it's an opportunity to trust God and see what He does.

Often our credit cards become our gods, we trust them in case of an emergency, we sing the God of miracles every single days in our church but we live an atheist life. It's time to change, I decided to change.

A godly decision is never an easy decision and as I often say, it takes God to do a godly thing. We got smart with our money, lived below our means or within our means at best. Trusted God when "impossible" situations arise, and jumped on every good works He has prepared beforehand so we may do them.The ball is always in our court, never in God's.

My Christian Friend Slept With My Husband

When you've been hurt and pained by the very people you've allowed in your inner circle, how do you forgive? How sure are you that you have truly forgiven?
This book, My Christian Friend Slept With My Husband, narrates the story of two women whose relationship has burgeoned as classmates, evolved into ministry co-workers, prayer partners, friends, roommates and sisters to reach the ultimate betrayal. The title says it all.
The story is related in a narrative and personal way engaging the reader in this journey depicting various levels of emotions. The good the bad the ugly, everything is exposed. From emails, chat, live and phone conversations to the fall and the ultimate redemption, described in a very vivid way.
If you're a christian, how do you read "14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." ?

Is it slightly possible that your salvation may rest in your hands if ever you're in a situation requiring forgiveness to your offender? For if the Father doesn't forgive you, how much chance do you think you have to make to heaven?

The book is solely sold on Amazon, in paperback and kindle version.

My-Christian-Friend-Slept-With-My-Husband